Rogaine for Facial Hair Growth: Research Needed!

What teenage boy, nay, what man has never desired the profound satisfaction of growing a full beard at least once in his life? There are hundreds of styles, and thousands of valid reasons for growing facial hair. Whether your climbing Everest and need the warmth and confidence of a full beard, or want to cruise for chicks sporting a Dirty Sanchez, the uses and purposes of facial hair are endless, but unfortunately the capability IS limited. Have you ever felt cheated by your genetic material, your DNA, your ancestors? That's something that could be solved by modern science. Tell the world now..."we need Rogaine for facial hair growth"!

Sure, scientist may be busy researching other things...calming those pesky "restless legs" and giving old men erections with little blue pills, but what about us? Nothing. Not a whisper of scientific advancement in the hairless face realm. Every time I walk into a pharmacy and see a Chia Pet I wish to myself that it was that easy. Think of all the good that could come from lathering all the bald faces in the world with that wondrous cream they call Rogaine!

If whisker-challenged men and boys of the world could populate their faces with a bushy abundance of bristles, what a wonderful place it would be! Facial frost-bite would be a thing of the past! And what if the talk of charging cell phones on face stubble is true?! We could make the world a greener place! Think of the new styles that would emerge if all those whiskerless men could groom the newly acquired manliness until their hearts content! The need for research is clear. Tell your congressman..."we need government grants for research on Rogaine for facial hair growth"!